my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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