How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
