I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
