I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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