We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
