they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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