I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
