I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
