i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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