Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You made out with two different species that night
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
