I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed