that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
