I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
