____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
