I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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