considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
