we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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