i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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