my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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