Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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