you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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