why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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