would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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