u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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