she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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