omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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