god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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