I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
