id be glad to
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
