i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
No subtext here. People are naked.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
