She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
