pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
