Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
