Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We talked him into tasing himself.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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