i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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