You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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