The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
