i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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