id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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