the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
