i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
