Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
