idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
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I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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