You really coming over, don't trick.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just forgot I was standing up.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
