I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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