i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
