That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
