Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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