at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
