i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
