It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
