am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
