I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
