That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
