Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
