At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
