You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
