We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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