Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
